Read between the lines

Here’s a list of things I want which violate the mantra that is the of the hippie

I want a Porsche, nothing new just one that’s in the sub $10,000 range so I can save up cash and have my preemptive mid-life crisis fun car to woo all the burner girls who wear leather utility fashion belts.  Any fast sexy car with less than 20mpg will do though.

I want a huge ass HDTV so I can play my Wii in full glory.

I don’t care about my car’s MPG.  I track it, but I did math and economically it’s only $600/yr more if I get 20mpg vs 25mpg average.  I blow that much money on drugs to have fun with you guys anyways.  So fuck it.  It’s all about emissions anyways, not MPG.

I *love* flushing the toilet after each evacuation.  I would rather be overly hygienic than save the sewage treatment plant 0.00000420% capacity of use.

I wear aluminum dioxide when I go out and play with you hippies.  I’d rather not smell like taco bell hot sauce when I’m trying to sleep with you hairy hippies.

I think landfills are oil converters.  Not an example of ignorant human stupidity.  It takes millions of years to make oil from dead animals just as the same as the trash will take millions of years to turn back into oil which we used.  We’re only stupid for using our back yards as these slow-churn oil factories.   Seagulls thank us for our efforts.